Single and Back on the Blogs

Wow, it's been awhile! I'm back, and most things in my life have changed. I am, for instance, no longer making half-hearted stabs at amateur journalism (see post below). I am no longer engaging in self-flagellation over the sorry state of my M.A. thesis (see all entries from April and May). I am, most significantly, now happily "out" as a bisexual...and sadly, out of my long-term relationship, exploring the world otherwise known as "being single." Which means, of course, dating.

So far, it's been a delightful experience - not least by the caliber of persons I've been lucky enough to run across (warm, friendly, and genuinely beautiful in every way).

But at a more fundamental level, it has restored my faith in humanity. Logging onto a dating website and 'putting yourself out there' is roughly equivalent to walking out into a busy street at lunch hour, cupping your hands around your mouth and saying "Hey you! You over there! Yeah, in the red shirt - look at me!" This being New York, most people will simply ignore you. Some will throw you dirty looks. But some, miraculously, will cup their hands and yell back - and if you're lucky, will ask you out for coffee. The thought of *any* form of intimacy emerging out of the drive-by method of internet dating boggles my mind. And yet, it's nice to think that I might have something in common with a perfect stranger. It gives me hope.

On the downside, it turns out that even if you DO genuinely like someone (a lovely and unexpected contingency) these things come with a timeline. NZGrrrrl.com warns me that I will require one week of healing for every month of my past relationship -- which in my case, puts me roughly...60 weeks?

Nevertheless, I persevere.

On my bookshelf: Two months worth of Victorian labor poetry
In my refrigerator: A bowl of pumpkin-chocolate chip cookie dough
On my Ipod: David Rakoff